I think that you did a fairly good job at encompassing all
the aspects of this project. There are a
few flaws in this as well though. I
think you need to do a better job of explain what Hayden East is, because you
never tell whether it is a dorm or it is another building you found your way on
top of. I think the reference to Mary
Austin was well implemented showing which lens you used. On the part that you reference the taggers, I’m
not sure what your point of view on the topic is because at first you say it is
an insult to the users of the space but then just after that you say it shows
the artistic vision and a safe haven for artists, this seems like it would mean
that people like the art now. I’m just a
little confused. After this you begin to
talk about something called “Arcadia”, I think that you need to explain this a
little more, such as what it is and where, for the people that don’t already
know about it. Another thing is it seems
that your paragraphs don’t transition very well from one to the other and they don’t
seem like they have very much connection with each other. I think that your paper did an adequate job
of following the general idea that you stated in your introduction. I do think that you should talk a little bit
more about the lens that you are using as well. Other than that it was good.
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