Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Peer Review 1

Ryan Farrell



I think that you did a fairly good job at encompassing all the aspects of this project.  There are a few flaws in this as well though.  I think you need to do a better job of explain what Hayden East is, because you never tell whether it is a dorm or it is another building you found your way on top of.  I think the reference to Mary Austin was well implemented showing which lens you used.  On the part that you reference the taggers, I’m not sure what your point of view on the topic is because at first you say it is an insult to the users of the space but then just after that you say it shows the artistic vision and a safe haven for artists, this seems like it would mean that people like the art now.  I’m just a little confused.  After this you begin to talk about something called “Arcadia”, I think that you need to explain this a little more, such as what it is and where, for the people that don’t already know about it.  Another thing is it seems that your paragraphs don’t transition very well from one to the other and they don’t seem like they have very much connection with each other.  I think that your paper did an adequate job of following the general idea that you stated in your introduction.  I do think that you should talk a little bit more about the lens that you are using as well. Other than that it was good.                                                                                                                                                                                                 

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